Machete [2010] Review

[External Review]
[Redacted] and I have just watched Machete, words absolutely fail me to be honest! Seagal is in it for 5 mins at the beginning, then pops up on screens to threaten people [in Spanish] and then comes back at the end for a Machete fight, he manages to have a machete put through him and still stands talking as if that happens everyday, I have been crying with laughter. The film is so bad in so many ways and Robert de Niro is in it….!?!