Dark Vengence [2010] Review

If you didn’t already know or were as confused as I was up until five minutes ago, True Justice is a two-season American television action series created by Steven Seagal, soon after released as a series of DVD (and some Blu-ray) “movies”, with each disc editing together two episodes [thank you Wikipedia.] Dark Vengence (Season One, episodes three and four, so ‘Part 2’ of the film series) starts superbly, we get a quote that Vern – author of Seagalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal – missed out on completely: “Huckmunwa.” I have no clue what it means but it’s extremely funny. I have searched far and wide to try and decipher its meaning. Let’s try searching Google, ‘What does “Huckmunwa” mean’: zero search results. Nothing on Google Translate. Shady-looking Chinese black magic websites offered nothing. I asked a translator, who is fluent in 12 languages: nothing. The rest of the film is pretty disappointing when compared with the mystery of Seagal’s one-liner: save the fact that, when one of their agents decides to go undercover (twice) in a strip joint, no one bothers to follow them home or check if they are feeling fine after being spiked. This is after they have been ‘Marked for Death’ by a white carnation flower. ‘How many more people have to die’ indeed: it’s just bad police work.