Contract to Kill [2016] Review

We just watched Contract to Kill. The plot just kept getting more and more convoluted with more and more flashbacks to get the film to almost 90 minutes. Special effects were awful with extensive use of bad green screen, probably a good third of the film being random stock and bad green screens of location we had either just been in or a damp tunnel with Seagal moving (a rarity in this film) overlayed at completely the wrong angle/speed. The United States Army Special Forces/CIA-trained spy-drone pilot, ‘Sharp’, kept flying a large, very conspicuous, drone multiple times to get the money back (often in the same location) very badly (if there were more than one Segaal film with drones then I would happily call this stage in his career his ‘drone phase’.) The drone can be fitted with either an AK-47 [AR-15] or a camera but in the next shot, the attachment would be swapped anyway. The former Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) and CIA Agent, who is ‘Harmon’ (Seagal) is constantly flattered and his female partner constantly throws herself on him and is far less awkward than Seagal in bed. Dialogue is sometimes completely ad-libbed and can often not be audible at all, even at full volume, due to bad sound/editing. Some amazing lines though. Terrorism was grossly oversimplified with its solution being to kill all the ‘bad guys’ (after Seagal got over ‘If you put me back in there, 1000 people will die: good and bad. I don’t want to be the bad guy.’) At the end we got a real treat, not another Russian mistress and family who we had never seen before (like in Kill Switch) but OUTTAKES.

“You got that platinum Rolex?”
“Yeah, someone very special got it for me.”
“I got it for you.”
“I know.”

[EXTERNAL REVIEW] The creepy bit is when fat Seagal is groping her very young and pert boobs in the bed scene – a scene that seemed to have no place in the movie and seemed to be a ‘requested’ one to me. Oh Steven you are still acting out a life that you have no place being in. Still plenty of chairs from which to act from!